Are you shy, antisocial, and have no friends? When you enter a classroom full of two-person desks and you know none of your fellow classmates, does it fill you with dread? Do you want to be able to make new friends? Well, sorry but I can’t help you with that. However, I CAN tell you how to have a conversation with a random peer who’s existence was previously unknown to you (seriously, I’m still discovering new freshmen I could’ve sworn never I’ve never seen in my life). It’ll probably be really awkward, but you’re supposed to be making friends right?
*DISCLAIMER: I have no idea if any of these actually work, as I have not tried any of them.*
*DISCLAIMER: I have no idea if any of these actually work, as I have not tried any of them.*
STEP 1: Say hi. If your existence has never occurred to them before, introduce yourself.
Hi is a really cool word. It has two letters and one syllable. It also shows that you’re a friendly, not-antisocial person (except that you are). If “hi” is too boring and cliche for you, try something like “hey” or “yo” to show that you’re really cool and that you have an unbeatable awesomeness that no one else does. If you’re normal though, just say hi, because hi is still a really cool word. Now that you’ve shown how sociable and cool you are, you can introduce your fellow classmate to the awesome being that is yourself. “Hi, my name is _____” is a really boring way to introduce yourself. Instead, say something else really awesome and sociable like “HI MY NAME IS ____ AND I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE BECAUSE I’M PSYCHIC AND COOL I CAN HUNT YOUR ENEMIES DOWN FOR YOU IF WE BECOME FRIENDS.”
It’s not creepy ^.^
If it scares them away that just means you were too awesome for them in the first place.
STEP 2: Have a really cliche conversation.
You know, “How are you doing?” or “It’s nice to meet your” or even “How ’bout that weather we’re having?” If you don’t live under a rock, unlike me, you might even be able to bring up something pop-culture related! It’ll make you seem like an even awesomer person than you have already shown yourself to be.
It’s okay if you do live under a rock though. Rocks are cool and make great homes and/or pets. Introduce your new acquaintance to your pet rock if you really can’t think of anything to talk about. Pet rocks are the solution to everything. If you don’t have a pet rock, you will not succeed in life.
STEP 3: Bond over something.
Now that you’ve gotten past the small talk, you need to find something that the two of you can be friends over. You can bond over literally anything.
Person 1: “How ’bout that weather we’re having?”
Person 2: “Weather is stupid.”
Person 1: “OMG I THINK WEATHER IS STUPID TOO WE’RE GOING TO BE GREAT FRIENDS”
I’ve even bonded with someone over mutual hatred of another person
STEP 4: Say something to him/her every time you see him/her.
Now that you’ve formed a weak bond between the two of you, make sure to keep that bond. I don’t care where it is or what you’re doing. When you see that person, shout something random to them. Don’t just say “hi” and have a conversation; that’s so boring and exactly like the first time you met. No, what you do is yell about something really cool to let him/her know that “I’ve gotten even awesomer since the last time you saw me.” Say something like “UNICORNS ARE REAL. I SAW ONE IN MY BACKYARD, AND IT WAS GREEN.” or “LOOK, I GOT ANOTHER PET ROCK”. Maybe even “HEY, HEY, I FOUND THE ADDRESS OF THIS PERSON YOU HATE! IF HE EVER ANNOYS YOU AGAIN, I CAN ARRANGE SOME KIND OF TRAGIC “ACCIDENT” FOR HIM!” This will only show your extreme loyalty to your new acquaintance and make him/her want to be friends with you even more.
STEP 5: POOF You’re friends.
Ha I lied I am teaching you how to be friends. By now, the two of you should be comfortable shouting random stuff at the other, meaning that you have achieved a friendship with someone who used to be a stranger. Now pat yourself on the back, and treat yourself to some chocolate chip cookies. If you really want, you can buy some for your new friend and eat those, too.
Congrats :D
Hi is a really cool word. It has two letters and one syllable. It also shows that you’re a friendly, not-antisocial person (except that you are). If “hi” is too boring and cliche for you, try something like “hey” or “yo” to show that you’re really cool and that you have an unbeatable awesomeness that no one else does. If you’re normal though, just say hi, because hi is still a really cool word. Now that you’ve shown how sociable and cool you are, you can introduce your fellow classmate to the awesome being that is yourself. “Hi, my name is _____” is a really boring way to introduce yourself. Instead, say something else really awesome and sociable like “HI MY NAME IS ____ AND I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE BECAUSE I’M PSYCHIC AND COOL I CAN HUNT YOUR ENEMIES DOWN FOR YOU IF WE BECOME FRIENDS.”
It’s not creepy ^.^
If it scares them away that just means you were too awesome for them in the first place.
STEP 2: Have a really cliche conversation.
You know, “How are you doing?” or “It’s nice to meet your” or even “How ’bout that weather we’re having?” If you don’t live under a rock, unlike me, you might even be able to bring up something pop-culture related! It’ll make you seem like an even awesomer person than you have already shown yourself to be.
It’s okay if you do live under a rock though. Rocks are cool and make great homes and/or pets. Introduce your new acquaintance to your pet rock if you really can’t think of anything to talk about. Pet rocks are the solution to everything. If you don’t have a pet rock, you will not succeed in life.
STEP 3: Bond over something.
Now that you’ve gotten past the small talk, you need to find something that the two of you can be friends over. You can bond over literally anything.
Person 1: “How ’bout that weather we’re having?”
Person 2: “Weather is stupid.”
Person 1: “OMG I THINK WEATHER IS STUPID TOO WE’RE GOING TO BE GREAT FRIENDS”
I’ve even bonded with someone over mutual hatred of another person
STEP 4: Say something to him/her every time you see him/her.
Now that you’ve formed a weak bond between the two of you, make sure to keep that bond. I don’t care where it is or what you’re doing. When you see that person, shout something random to them. Don’t just say “hi” and have a conversation; that’s so boring and exactly like the first time you met. No, what you do is yell about something really cool to let him/her know that “I’ve gotten even awesomer since the last time you saw me.” Say something like “UNICORNS ARE REAL. I SAW ONE IN MY BACKYARD, AND IT WAS GREEN.” or “LOOK, I GOT ANOTHER PET ROCK”. Maybe even “HEY, HEY, I FOUND THE ADDRESS OF THIS PERSON YOU HATE! IF HE EVER ANNOYS YOU AGAIN, I CAN ARRANGE SOME KIND OF TRAGIC “ACCIDENT” FOR HIM!” This will only show your extreme loyalty to your new acquaintance and make him/her want to be friends with you even more.
STEP 5: POOF You’re friends.
Ha I lied I am teaching you how to be friends. By now, the two of you should be comfortable shouting random stuff at the other, meaning that you have achieved a friendship with someone who used to be a stranger. Now pat yourself on the back, and treat yourself to some chocolate chip cookies. If you really want, you can buy some for your new friend and eat those, too.
Congrats :D